Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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