The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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