I love black thongs
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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