Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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