We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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