i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Randomize
