i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Randomize
