you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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