anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Randomize
