sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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