I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
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You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
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Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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