I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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