I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
