I'd wear matching sweaters with you
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
