he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
