Don't you send me to vm
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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