I'm gonna have a badass scar
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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