Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
