he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
