This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
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Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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