No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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