ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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