I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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