why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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