loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
