Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
