i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
