jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
