Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
