was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Randomize
