"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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