he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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