its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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