I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
