i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
please don't ironically join a cult
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