I feel great
I just peed on a car
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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