this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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