He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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