Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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