she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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