I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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