nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
