rhymes with "ouble enetration"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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