Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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