Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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