Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
