We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
he shaved USA in his pubs
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize