I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
