after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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