They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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