He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
