What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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