I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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