I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
