Say something about gay babies.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Is it penis luge time yet?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
