You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
