i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
