I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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