I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
