drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
i need some magic done to my vagina
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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